That be 3 of my younger sisters circa 1980?
The one in the middle was the youngest but she was the only one that knew how to read so she was reading them a christmass story.
Sad to say the other two went on to both be Dr.'s one a medical and the other a PhD.
And as far as I can tell they still dont know how to read.
The other went on to greater things, she is a Nurse saving peoples lifes and making them much better!
although the Medical Dr. did send me some Viagra one time!
Ok the picture above is of my Grandparents about 25 years ago. They both passed away a few years ago. This picture was taken by Dad in about 1981 or so. That model T is one of the many vehicles he restored. Another is sitting in my moms garage that is hers. (it was her dad and mom)
So the other day I had laser eye surgery. It was the first time I have ever had the drug valium so I blame this on that.
The night after my surgery I had a pretty wild dream. Now normally I wouldn’t talk about my dreams in any forum were my mom might read it. There are just some things you don’t talk to your mom about duhhh.
I guess since I have been blogging about Burning Man and I was on valium it makes since.
I am at burning man and who is there with me? My grandparents. What I can remember is Granddad going over to talk to some people about there art car. Perfectly normal! Me and Nanny (that’s what we called her) went around the corner to the pink pancake theme camp to get some breakfast but the topless girl that was cleaning up said we missed them. So we found granddad talking to some folks (he was talking to some people just like the time him and I in real life had gone to some salvage yards hunting some old parts for cars) and informed him and we decided that since they had not brought food or water that they should go on into reno and stay there. Then I woke up.
This whole thing was real freaky on several levels.
One just my grandparents going to burning man. Enough said I think there.
Then, Nanny not worred about the topless girl. She was worried about the food. Now she should have been worried about the food but I know in real life the topless chick at the pink pancake would have uhhh well lets say I don’t think it would have been a calm affair! (and there was not a pink pancake theme camp that I knew of but there were camps that gave away food some mornings)
And then having a dream with my grandparents in it. They are the only close people that have passed away and it’s the second time I have dreamed about them (the other time it was a George Bush inauguration ceremony, and that is weirder than Burning Man!)
To tell the truth though it was real nice to see my grandparents and talk to them. Yea yea it was a dream but it was real pleasant. Not that I am gonna take valium to get the dream again (Actually I think the valium had worn off, I was just tired)
Oh and notice how much I look like my grandfather. I have been told I look like his dad even more. Also his wife and my wife have the same name. welcome to the twilight zone!
What a day, what a day.
This photo is right after we parked and right before the Vaseline incident, facing the back of the DFT theme camp, with my back to the Rainforest Refugees (which are not there yet) That is pharaoh on top of the trailer, he was one of the leads for the DFT camp. The girl in the shirt is Paullina not 20 minutes after arriving! The brown thing is the community shower. The camp is not even half way set up at this point. No music, no bar, no front signs, no pilloasis, there was a lot of work to do.
So we threw off some bikes then walked over to meet the guys and gals working hard at setting up the DFT camp. I ended up helping them build there camp all day long! I ran lights, Built the bar, got the DJ booth all plugged in.
First started just as the gopher. If I saw someone doing a task and I understood what they were doing I jumped up and did it so they could go onto something else. It does not take a genius to run lights, but it takes a creative person to know were to run them. Hey you point it out and I will do it!
Setting up a camp in the middle of the dessert with limited resources can be a challenge and everyone pitched in. Some more than others but everyone pretty much gave it there all.
I had to get everyone’s name about 20 times before I could remember it and some I still cant remember. At one point one of the ladies that was “in charge” at the dft had asked me to do some stuff and I did. After about the 5th thing I did for her I asked her name and she said “Katy”…I hollered with joy “Katy? Hell my wifes name is katy, I can remember your name and I do what katy says so I am your beatch for the week!” oh and she is red headed and I know from experience don’t argue or fight with a redhead!
I realized right off that this theme camp was my type of people. They were all from Houston and Austin with a few from the Dallas area. And Texans, well at least the ones there at the DFT camp, know how to fix things, and build things and are not afraid of hard work. Plus the heat sure didn’t bother us. For us it was nice and cool. No humidity! Can you imagine!
Getting the DJ booth working was a challenge. I had never worked on one before but after a little studying me and DJ Darius from the Rainforest Refugees (he showed up about 10 minutes after we did) got it working and we had tunes to work with.
About 7 pm or so I was up on the ladder to the dft trailer running some lights and looked down and saw the guy in charge of the rainforest camp….and thus a great story begins….
So we gave our ticket, and were welcomed home. We knew were our theme camp was.
Paulina asked us to drop her off at the dang fricken Texans. (from here on refered to as DFT and they are not really the dang fricken but it will do)
the DFT's were suppose to be between 4 and 4:30 on Gestalt street and we were between 4 and 4:30 on Fetish.
The way the streets are layed out 4 to 4:30 is huge. about a long city block long.
so we drive to gestalt and find the DFT's about 4:20. get out meet them and in talking with them told them were we were suppose to be with. they said that we were right behind them and damned if we weren't.
Was quit funny, Paulina who for 2 days was worried she wouldnt find her camp ended up camping 22 feet from mine! I actually set up my tent on the property line between DFT and the Rainforest Refugees who I was suppose to camp with and right next the DFW and Beyond camp.
This photo is were I parked my truck for the week. the car is were Rainforest main tent went.
so we get out of the truck and Tom and I started unloaded stuff, just moving kinda slow. and what happened next was quit shocking to say the least.
One of the girls walks up wearing a scarf as a top (I loaned her the scarf as her stuff was in another vehicle) and what I call work out panties. no biggy we had already seen some nude people and it was hot. But what she did next was.
she hands Tom a jar of vaoline with the lid off and ask him to hold it. Then hands me the lid then she drops her panties.
Ok yes we were floored. Just what in the heck are you doing. Tom and I are both married, its the middle of the desert and your handing vasoline to us and dropping your panties. DAMN girl just what the hell is going on.
so Tom and are standing there with our jaws on the ground not knowing what to say or think and she proceeds to rub vasoline between her thighs explaing that she read in the BM survival guide that it helps with chafing in the dry desert. They also recommend putting it up your nose to keep it from drying out. I did neither and was fine but I grew up in the dry desert air.
Me and Tom although we didnt really mind the view were both quit relieved that this was all it was.
it was the last time I was suprised until the next sat. Not the last time I was shocked but last time suprised.
Not burning man related sorry...
Friday I went and had Lasik surgery on my eyeballs. I now have 20/20 vision without glasses, can actually see better at night compared to wearing glasses at night.
was not to painful, just kind of weird. Its not every day that you take a hit of valium, some guy cuts a flap in your cornea (and you see him do it) a laser buzzes your eye for a few seconds and you can see better because of it.
I wont go into details about laser eye surgery, you can google that and find out more info than you care to.
I will talk about some other things though.
Way back mom was worried I was gonna use drugs. What she never knew was I was to damn paranoid. I always had this fear of getting busted and ending up in prison with a cell mate named bubba that liked to rape his cellmate. So I pretty much stayed out of trouble not from fear of mom or dad but big time fear of Bubba.
And then the few times I took legal pain medication I did not care for the felling I got from it. I dont like the felling of being out of touch like that.
So right before I got into surgery they give me half a pill (10mg was the full pill) of valium then you stick the other part under your tongue. so 10 min later they help me up to go into the laser room, I can hardly walk and the nurse says how do you fell? "like wow man i fell stoned!" So the stupid DR. (all Dr. are pretty much stupid) say ok I am gonna do this and that and are you ok? hell doc, I dont care what you do just be quiet and let me rest man!
I do not see how people get addicted to valium. That stuff sucks. Your out of touch, your sleepy groggy kinda. I will pass thank you very much.
And again the DR. proved my theory. The nurses and admins run the show, the DR.'s are there to be the token stupid person. The Dr. made me fell as comfortable as a whore in church, but the nurses were awesome. they explained what was going on, what I would fell in human terms were this Dr. (who had the personality of a dead orangutan) was ugly for one thing, and the one joke he said came out dumb as anything. why cant Dr's act normal? because there not. There freaks dam it. (all but my dumb sister who is a dr. she is not a dumb dr. she is a dumb sister, there is a big difference. She is probably a good dr. but still a dumb sister)
so I have to put drops of stuff in my eyes about 12 times a day or some crap for the next two weeks. But I wont be putting on any glasses except sunglasses beatches!
About a quarter mile past the ticket station is the greeter station. These are volunteers who welcome you to Burning Man and make sure you know what your in for.
They mention or ask several things.
Do you have water and food? Shelter?
Don’t put anything that does not come out of your body into the porta poties.
Are you with a theme camp? (in our case since I was the first one there for Rainforest Refugees, they took me to another guy who made sure we set up in the correct place.)
The first thing a greete says is welcome home. Kinda funny since 3 of the 4 of us had never been. But it actually makes since to me. Just because you had never been there does not mean its not your home.
My greeter was a woman somewere between the age of 25 and 35 I would guess. She was wearing combat boots and orange stretch panties and nothing else. She was having a blast. But she did get serious when she asked all the important questions or talked about the porta poties.
They have a bell you can ring if you want for virgin burners. And if you ask they will give you a spanking. It use to be tradition that virgins got a spanking there first time, but alas someone sued and it’s no more. (to some of us the man represents Lawyers and we burn that SOB down!)
The greeters is were the party starts. They are having a blast and make sure you do too. Having fun is very contagious and it started right there at the greeters. It was like ok here is the rules…first have fun, then scream, then have more fun, then act goofy. Woohoo party time..ohh and don’t put nothing that don’t come out of you body into the porta poties..oh and have fun!
The Ticket Station.
This is were you gave up your ticket and got "IN"
Did I mention that 99% of all people working at burning man are volunteers? they are. You can volunteer for anything from Ticket taker to a Real DR. they need everything. and its amazing how many volunteer. more volunteer than opening are available.
I volunteered for Greeters but they didnt need anymore. The greeters shifts were 4 hours each about 25 per shift 24 hours a day from Saturday until Friday at midnight and they were full on volunteers about mid June!
Whats great about everyone being a volunteer is you could come dressed as you wanted (one of the greeters not the ticket takers was not wearing anything..more on that next time) so you could come dressed how you wanted and if you wanted to sit down you just did. If you wanted to act crazy they did.
Now the ticket takers did take there job serious but they had fun with it. Its not like they could get fired! Sure they could be told that there services were not needed anymore but you wouldnt care since you were not getting paid anyway!
They searched our truck for stow aways and said go on in! that easy!
now tickets...I bought my ticket for 175 bucks on Jan 5th at 1pm central time when they went on sale. the ticket structure is set up this way.
the first 10,000 tickets were 175
the next 10,000 were 200
the next 5,000 were 225 and after that they were unlimted number at 250.
you dont get anything diffrent with each kind of ticket. they all just admit one person. No ticket sold after friday night and no more admited either. if your not in by friday before the man burns your out!
for the cost of the ticket you get to come in and use the port a poties and thats about it as far as what they supply.
since its on federal land they have to pay the Govt for each person that is onsite each day. I think its about 4 bucks a person per day. I was there 8 days so that was 32 bucks. then they have to have porta poties that the federal gov deems adequate.
I will say they were very adequate as far as porta poties go. fig thats about 40 bucks for my share.
then they have to bring in electricity for center camp, build the man, buy supplies to build the street signs, greeters station, ticket takers fence cones etc.
they also give away several hundred thousand dollars in art grants. anyone can apply for one.
they dont make money on the event.
they make about 7 mill on tickets and spend every bit of it.
think of this, if they wanted to get Budwieser to sponser the event they could. An easy estimate would be ok Bud you pay us 3 million dollars and you can be the official beer, plus we get one buck off each beer sold. an easy estimate of the take would be in the 10 million dollar range. so they drop the ticket price to say 75 bucks, and bring in 10million off beer sales alone! But the whole idea is none commercialzation, so they dont. one of the biggest reasons I went! I didnt have budweiser in my face all week saying buy me! or any other vendor. I did have people say "want a beer?" as they hand it to you and walk away, not expecting anything in return!
ok so anyway, they have taken our ticket and we next goto the greeter station....
The long road into Burning Man. windy and dusty.
there were goofy signs every 20 feet or so. One of the many internet rumors is that the man gets smaller every year and when he disapears burning man is over. So these signs were pretty funny if you had heard that rumor.
The day we arrived Sunday.
Friday we were on the road from 6am until about 10:30pm. We drove from Fort Worth to Durango Colorado. We swapped riders and drivers around and got to know one another.
Saturday we drove from 9 or so in the morning until 11pm that night stopping in Fallen NV. About 2.5 hours south of were Burning Man is held. By this time we had started to get on each others nerves. Not bad as everyone was adults and acted that way but it was tenser than the day before.
Sunday we get up late (9am) ate some breakfast and reloaded the trucks. Mark took Rob and they drove into Reno to pick up 4 more people that flew in that were staying with DFW and beyond theme camp (Marks theme camp) one lady flew in from Florida!
Tom, Serena, Paullina and me all packed into my truck and drove to the local Wally world and Safeway and bought last minutes supplies like water and booze! I guess we did buy some food. And Serena got a reply on an email on the way and ended up needing a business outfit because she had to fly out the next Monday to Penn. for a job interview so she bought an outfit at Wally world.
The Safeway was packed with "Hippies" like us buying water and food and lots of booze. These were my first true burners I saw. Multi colored clothes, dreadlocks etc what you would expect burners to look like in public. It was a fun atmosphere in the store!
Out in the parking lot loading up and waiting for individuals to finish we all started getting nervous and excited. None drivers, that is everyone but me opened a beer!
We piled the 4 of us cramped in big time into the truck. The 2 girls in the back with there knees touching there chins and me and toms seats moved all the way forward. It was going to be tough ride the next 2 hours!
I could tell we were all nervous, excited, and on top of that tired from driving and tired of each other plus we were cramped in like sardines. So I got Paullina who lived in Russia until she was 20 and who graduated from a University there to give us a Russian History lesson. This was a life saver. Got our minds off everything and learned a lot!
It was wall to wall vehicles the last 2 hours. Welcome to the desert! The last 45 minutes or so was real good. We got to see our first view of the event.
sign on the highway. Notice the burning man drawn on the trailer.
we turned off onto a dirt road right after this.
A tourist walks into a curio shop and sees a life-like bronze statue of a rat.
He asks the salesmen, "How much?"
The salesman replied, "12 bucks for the rat and 100 bucks for the story."
The tourist says, "I'll just take the rat, thanks."
As soon as the tourist leaves the shop rats started crawling out of the sewers. There were a hundred rats, then a thousand, and then millions.
The tourist was running as fast as he could. He ran to the end of the pier and threw the bronze rat as far out into the lake as he could. All the other rats jumped after it and drowned.
The tourist walked back to the store.
The salesmen says, "Came back for the story, eh?"
The tourist replies, "No but I was wondering, do you have a statue of a Republican?"
this is were we stopped in Utah to let my breaks cool and to eat a bite. Also I got extra keys made of my truck and passed them out. some of the simpliest things like keys need to be remmbered for burning man. There is no locksmith or key maker so if you lose your keys you have to go 120 miles into Reno for help! That can be quiet expensive!
Day two on the road.
We drove into
Allot happened this day.
We left
Then we cut across
In
Coming out of the city after lunch these deer just crossed the highway in front of us! Was pretty amazing!
Day one still. about 10 hours on the road now. Welcome to New Mexico.
We changed up riders several times. everyone got along real good the whole way. Yes there were trying times, mostly at night after driving 18 hours each day. But not as trying as it is with family. when you have a group of people with one goal everyone works towards that goal and things actually get done.
We stopped just north of albequqe for dinner. Kinda hassle but not too bad.
we stopped at a casino (Indian) one for grub but mark and I couldnt find anything we like so we made sandwiches out of his trailer while most ate inside the restraunt. Was about 6pm when we stopped for dinner.
was another 4 hours until we stopped for the night in Durango were we met up with toms wifes parents and left her. split hotel room, big rooms cheap. Getting a room was kinda hassle everyone butt ass tired and grouchy but we all came thru.
Up the next morning and on the road by 9am.
This is the 97 dodge dakota supercab that I borrowed from my Mother-in-Law.
Everything I would need it piled on it!
I brought 3 extra bikes for people flying in from New York. the people from New York were camping at the same them camp as I was and I volunteed to take them bikes.
The group from new york didnt know me at all so when they got to Reno (closest airport) they bought 3 used bikes themselves. This worked out great because Paulina and Tom didnt bring bikes, so woohoo now they had some and then the girls that sat up next to me had flown in from England (thats right the country England like across the ocean england) and they too had bought bikes but one of them wasnt worth spit, so the 3rd bike got a great home.
The only thing I had not packed/bought yet was water. We would pick that up in Fallen NV. the last big city before BM.
Stopped for Lunch in Amarillo.
This was our first major stop. Lunch in Amarillo Texas. I had met Mark, Tom, Rob and Serena one other time at Mark's meet and greet. visited about an hour before this. we changed riders all the way to BM. Serena drove my truck for about an hour after we left amarillo. I drove the rest of the way there. Rob and Serena were the only ones that knew how to drive a standard and since both trucks were standards left our options limited.
We left Burleson about 6am. we were already one hour behind schedule. This is amarillo were we stopped for lunch.
The way it started.
I started planning my trip about a year ahead of time. Since I knew no one else that was going I got online to chat groups and met some. A guy here in DFW area runs a theme camp and had a meet and great about 2 months before hand. Met my first "Burners" there. Great bunch of people.
We (that group) decided to caravan the 30 plus hour drive together. Share driving, gas etc.
Well two weeks before lift off, me and Mark the other guy with a vehicle didnt have enough riders and gas was around 2 bucks a gallon. So I went online and posted I had room for a rider and he posted he had room. I got an email from a lady in houston needing a one way ride. So she drove up from houston on Thursday night, she had to work late and didnt get to my house until 2 in the morning. She crashed on the couch. We were suppose to meet Mark at 5:30 at caballas but woke up a little late.
So up at 5:30 and already late. Me and Paulina (my rider) who I just met 2 hours before, jump in the already packed truck and haul ass after leaving a voice mail with mark to go ahead and take off for Amarillo and we will catch him.
We caught him about 90 miles down the road. and that is really when the trip started.
Paulina, my rider is 27 from Russia. she has lived here in the USA for 7 years and was doing interperting for NASA. she speaks flawless english. and much better than I. She had been to Burning-Man 2 times before.
Mark had a big duelly pickup with a box trailer and tons of stuff. He is in his 50's retired, cares for his sick mom. he had been to BM 3 or so times.
the other riders were Ron and Salina, newlweeds my age. Tom who is my age. Toms wife road with us to Durango were we dropped her off with her parents. None of them had ever been.
It took us until 11 that night to get to durango. lots of stops. Every 2 hours we would stop for snacks/gas/p breaks. those took 20 minutes each time. Its challenging to drive across country with people you just met. But everyone did great, no one got overly excited or upset.
Ok this stinks.
with my job I am on call one week out of 4. I get "calls" all hours of the day while on call. So they need to get in touch with me. up until about a year and half ago the company gave me a cell phone. They then changed policy and said they will only pay 25 bucks a month to a cell phone, there thinking was you will use your cell phone mostly for personal use and they shouldnt have to pay for that.
Well "The Man" was not getting away with that with me.
I dont need nor want a cell phone for personal use. Its one more way the "man" keeps you down.
So my co. said they would give me a pager. fine with me.
So for the last year or so I have not had a cell phone and all was right with the world.
I still have yet to hear a valid argument on why you must have a cell phone.
well my smart co. did an audit and found out they are paying about 120 bucks a month for my pager....OOOPPSSS
needless to say they quickly came up with a solution. get a cell phone and we will reinburse you for it. No dont go get the 1000 minutes blackberry enabled one, just get the cheap one be resonable etc.
So today I got the evil thing. My voice mail is "you have reached my cell phone, I dont answer the cell phone and I dont respond to voice mail, if you need me page me thru "XXXX" (our co's ticket generator) .
Basically means if there is a ticket I need to work, our ticket generator will page me and I will respond as I normally do.
You want to talk to me call my home phone or my desk phone.
I wont have the evil GW empire pumping there microscopic zombie drugs into my ear!
and cell phone co's do whatever they can to get every nickle out of you. What a scam. But if you know how to read you can keep above water. Dont let the man get you!
ok carry on
Burning Man
How do you explain Burning Man to someone who has never heard of it.
How do you explain it to someone who has but has never been?
How do you do this when its family members.
How do you do this when you communicate as poorly as the President of the U.S.A.?
I am going to try.
But I will do it by just jabbering over the next few months on this blog.
I first read something on burning man in the mid 90’s.
My first impression was of people running around acting crazy doing whatever they wanted. No limits, no commercialization, no big band playing. It could be compared to some of the “Hippy” fest from the 60’s and 70’s without the rock and roll bands.
Basically it looked like one hell of a good time.
A few years ago I started asking my wife to go with me. The conversation went something like this.
“It’s a big party in the desert, looks real fun”
“Hotels?”
“well uh no you camp in tents”
“Like a camp ground?”
“Um well no, there are no services, it’s the middle of the desert”
“Oh, well uh what kind of entertainment do they have? What kind of food”
“Well nothing unless you supply it, it’s a participation event you make the entertainment and bring your own food and water.”
“were is it and when?”
“Its in northwest Nevada in the Black Rock Desert the last week of August, they burn the man the Saturday before Labor Day.”
“Isn’t August the hottest time of the year?”
“well yes but the nights do get cold and they do have dust storms so bad you cant see, they call them white outs.”
“and burn what man?”
“Just a wooden man they build and burn on Saturday”
“So let me see if I understand this, we are going to drive 1800 miles to the desert of Nevada, AT the hottest time of the year. Camp in a tent with no electricity, no water unless we bring it, the only entertainment is what we bring or make except some wooden man they burn on Saturday, there are dust storms that are so bad there are white outs. No showers unless we make our own. No restaurants, nothing for sale and you want me to do this? Honey, you might have hit your head cause you have lost your damn mind!”
So I goto burning man and that is a whole story in itself.
Maybe I will tell you about it someday!
I left on friday before the huricane, arrive sunday morning.
found out the next Saturday that New Orleans was gone...hummm
the next morning I left, finally got to the interstate and got outside radio.
I kid you not the first news I recieved from radio or anything other than a naked hippy was this abc news radio...
Prsident Bush says, "we at the white house are going to do everything we can for the victims. We are having a blood drive at the white house and I encourge every American to go out and give blood"
What a stupid person (I cant call him a Man cause he aint one!)
Blood? WTF? and this was before I found out how bad it really was. That guy that is our president has to be the dumbest president we have ever elected. I cant even imagine anyone more stupid than him. My cats have more sense than that stupid fool!
I finally got a phone and called home, it had been 8 days since talking to my wife.
"well your sister and her husband had to evacuate"
when did I have a sister in New Orleans? Well come to find out I dont, it was another gulf coast city. Yea she probably lost her chit, but they saved the cats. Now me, I would have left the cats and grabed the videos!
I am a T-Shirt and blue jeans guy.
Always have been.
I could make a t-shirt last 10 to 20 years.
I just got rid of a shirt that my wife had when she was in High School.
My sister sent me some t-shirts the other day.
they should last me a few years.
and they represent me quit well.
We had 3 cats
One Hillary got from santa clause...yellow cat...house cat ok cat as far as cats go.
no meat on the bones so wouldnt make a big meal.
this black and white cat with a hitler mustache that a relative adopted from her nieghbor cause the neighbor made it stay outside. Well hello! they made it stay outside cause it pisses on the carpet...so we have kicked it outside and I suspect it will find the same fate as...
the other black and white cat that just showed up one day..we took it in fed it etc, but it was typical stupid cat so I kicked its butt out and it got hit by a car.
No loss at all...
I hate cats and dont know why I let my daughter talk me into them...
now she has a rat...she goes and stays a week at grandparents and comes back saying she has to have a rat and granma gave her a cage etc..
but the rat dont bother me, he looks studly...big ugly SOB long tail and its a rat! you tell people we have a rat and they go ohhh uhhh gross yuck...yea we got a rat, want to stay the night? we let it rome the house...he might snuggle with you.
gets them losers out of the house quick.
but cats? worthless animals. death to all cats.
I want one of them pigs for a pet, raise him or her up, then pork chops and bacon.
or maybe some snake, taste just like chicken.
My camera is awesome. The following pictures I took with it, yesterday at the pool (the pool that we built ourselves ha!) I took nearly 300 pictures in just an hour or so.
I was playing around trying to learn it see all that it does.
This set is chase jumping in. I had it set to sport and continous shooting. You just hold the button down until your finished and it will take up to about 22 pictures before it gets bogged down...5 to 6 pictures a second! then wait about 20 seconds or so and you can take another 22 pictures!
These pictures are resized so I could upload them. If you click on the pic it will open up, the opened up size is one half the original size. Here on the blog they are about 1/5 to 1/8 the size depending on your monitor resolution.
I have hundred upon hundreds of pictures. The sad thing is I dont have the best artistic eye to take pictures with. But if you take thousands one might really good, the law of averages you know!
Getting ready
By RAMESH SANTANAM, Associated Press Writer 2 hours, 20 minutes ago
UNIONTOWN, Pa. - A youth baseball coach on Thursday was ordered to stand trial for allegedly paying one of his players $25 to hurt a 9-year-old mentally disabled teammate.
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Eight-year-old Keith Reese testified at a preliminary hearing that Mark R. Downs Jr. made the offer before a playoff game June 27.
"He told me if I would hit (the teammate) in the face, he would pay me $25," Reese said.
Reese warmed up before the game with his mentally disabled teammate, Harry Bowers. His first toss hit Bowers in the groin area. As Reese walked away, he said his coach told him to "go out there and hit him harder."
"So I went out and hit him in the ear," Reese said.
The 27-year-old Downs will be arraigned Sept. 15 on two counts of criminal solicitation to commit aggravated assault and one count each of corruption of minors, criminal conspiracy and recklessly endangering another person.
Downs' attorney, Thomas W. Shaffer, on Thursday again denied the allegations.
Reese's father, Keith Reese Sr., also testified Thursday. He said Downs admitted after the game to offering his son money to hurt the other boy.
The team was part of the R.W. Clark Youth Baseball League, which ended its T-ball season earlier this month.
League organizers have said Downs won't be allowed to coach again if he is convicted of criminal charges.
Outsourcing the President's Job
Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to overseas interests as of August 31st. The move is being made to save not only a significant portion of the President's $400, 000.00 yearly salary, but also a record $521 billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead.
"We believe this is a wise move financially. The cost savings should be significant," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-Wash.). Reynolds, with the aid of the Government Accountability Office, has studied outsourcing of American jobs extensively.
"We cannot expect to remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.
Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of his termination. Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time. Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India will be assuming the office of President as of September 1st. Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls, thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month but with no health coverage or other benefits.
It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without support staff. Due to the time difference between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night, when few offices of the US Government will be open.
"Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the American Express call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President someday."
A Congressional Spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not be a problem. Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using this tree, he can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying issues at all.
"We know these scripting tools work," stated the Spokesperson. "Mr. Bush has used them successfully for years."
Mr. Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final day of employment. Following a two week waiting period, he will be eligible for $240 dollars a week unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid as his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed limit.
Mr. Bush has been provided the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a new position due to limited practical work experience. One possibility is re-enlistment in the Air National Guard. Should he choose this option, he would likely be stationed in Iraq, a country he has visited.
"I've been there, I know all about Iraq," stated Mr. Bush, who gained invaluable knowledge of the country in a visit to the Baghdad Airport's terminal and gift shop.
Sources in Baghdad and Falluja say Mr. Bush would receive a warm reception from local Iraqis. They have asked to be provided with details of his arrival so that they might arrange an appropriate welcome.
so been busy this summer.
sorry for no posts.
doing what you might ask?
Well last weekend my older sister came over with her 2 sons. they are 3 and 2 or there abouts. the 3 yr old is crazy! that kid would swim 24 hours a day! he loves the water.
so being the uncle I am, I get to do all the cool sstuff with the nephews. The 3 year old is learning to go to the bathroom on a kids toilet.
Now since my sister is a single mom, the guy dont have the man to explain how things are done. so being the cool uncle I am I said I would show him.
of course I am in Texas and I am a redneck.
"ok kid come here, first you walk up to the fence like this.....
Basically I showed the kid how to pee standing up, and he had no problem with that at all...like all men he was a natural...he did look at his mom with this look "why the heck you be making me sit down, when I can come outside and stand here and p on the fence"
and his mom was just glaring at me...I have no idea why, I mean come on, I thought that was why we put fences around our house so the neighbors wouldnt see us p'ing
Yea kids are great, but even more fun when they come for a few hours then go home!
I cant wait for my sister to get the call from the school..
"Miss, your son, well he was out at reccess and he did number one by the chain link fence, and he says his uncle said it was ok"
I went on call a few weeks ago, and when your on call you or rather I shouldnt drink.
Its hard to do your job buzzing or drunk and you might have to drive into work and that would never do.
so the whole week I was on call I was waiting for the end so I could drink.
Now that its been 2 weeks since I went off call, I realized I am only drinking about 1/3 of what I use to. It just doesnt call my name like it did before.
Ohhh wait, my mouth got to watering thinking about it so I am going to make a drink.
Go read one of my sisters blog and laugh at the funny picture of her when she was about 3 years old or so.
A Tragedy
School Comics
George Bush is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the
students if anyone can give him an example of a "TRAGEDY". One
little boy stands up and offers, "If my best friend who lives
next door was playing in the street when a car came along and
killed him, that would be a TRAGEDY." "No," Bush says, "That
would be an ACCIDENT."
A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children
drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved... that would be a
TRAGEDY." I'm afraid not," explains Bush. "That is what we
would call a GREAT LOSS." The room is silent; none of the other
children volunteer. "What?" asks Bush. "Isn't there any one
here who can give me an example of a TRAGEDY?"
Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he
speaks: "If an airplane carrying George Bush were
blown up by a bomb, that would be a TRAGEDY." "Wonderful!"
Bush beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be
a TRAGEDY?"
"Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an ACCIDENT, and
it certainly would be no GREAT LOSS!"
Today is katys birthday (the wife)
I went shopping, spent over and hour looking for something she might like
I couldnt find a dang thing.
So I bought myself a real cool Dewalt power saw.
Just a few oops!
When I first saw this I started skimming it. But then something stood out.
Realised......well now I am a horrible speller so I checked it and yes I was correct, they misspelled realized. So I decided to reread it and more things stood out.
A dopey pot-smoker spent her birthday in jail – after asking police to help find her drugs stash.
Dugs stash? Should that be drug stash?
Realised and realized you can see.
She called police in Charleston, West Virginia - and even told them she planned to sell the drugs to pay for a birthday treat.
I can not get the sentence correct myself. The whole article messes it up and I am not an English professor but lets continue.
She stated she had three-and-a-half ounces of marijuana and she also stated that she sells marijuana.
Maybe it should be….. She stated she had three-and-a-half ounces of marijuana and that she also sells it.
Then the last line stood out. We’re are my lawyer readers?
Police found the drugs and charged Walker with possession.
Now I know that is how the law works. But if someone stole something and the police retrieve it, they would have to return it to you for you to reclaim possession? Maybe the police retrieved the drugs and gave them back to Ms. Walker and then arrested her.
But then what about the person that stole the drugs? When the police retrieved it from them they would have to put it in the evidence locker until trial?
Now if I was the one that wrote this story it would be real short.
Stupid pot smoking wench called police after realizing that her drugs were stolen, possibly by her boyfriend.. She also informed them that she sells drugs and was planning on selling the now missing drugs to pay for her birthday celebration.
The police were able to recover the drugs and arrested Ms. Walker charging her with possession of marijuana, the drug that was allegedly stolen.
Now this reported asked Chief Hillbilly why they didn’t shoot Ms. Walker and he said “Them damn liberal hippies won’t lets us anymore, oh and she was white otherwise she would have been shot trying to escape.”
Tell me how the correct way this story should be written. If this were a real article in a newspaper someone should that gets paid to catch these kinds of things should give there paycheck back. I don’t pretend to very good in writing but I did have a bourbon and coke last night.
Chase and I went to the Bush race a few weeks ago. We had a real good time. Our driver didnt win he wrecked with 8 laps to go.
I took 220 pictures. Mostly using my zoom lens that is not the best in the world. But all the pics came out real good. Here are just a few.
My favorite car for some reason. 
www.flickr.com
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