The USA govt cant account for 9 billion dollars it gave Iraq to help rebuild...
If my wife made that kind of accounting error there would be some serious hell to pay.
But hey GW and his Nazi loveboys are just using our money so no big deal to them!
Got invited to a live in person hold em game this weekend
I was the oldest one there by about 10 years, but everyone was over 24 (although some looked younger than 20...)
This group gets together once a month, 25 bucks to enter...usually about 20 people play.
this time there were 23.
what was real neat is they did a new thing for them and first time I had seen it.
a "bounty"
it was 25 to enter and then an additional 5 bucks
the 5 bucks bought you a bounty chip.
if you were the one that takes some one out of the tournament you got there bounty chip.
when someone took you out they got yours, but not any you had won.
so if you took out 3 people then someone took you out, you still kept the 3 you had won.
for each chip you had when you went out you got 5 bucks!
Made the game that much funner.
One guy wanted to do a high hand of the night bet, 5 bucks a person and whoever gets the best hand of the night wins all. ties would split. I voted no, for 2 reasons, one I had just met these people and wasnt sure how they all played..and second was thinking of E.Mcphan, you could end up in a 6 way arguement and the winner might be the one with the biggest feet or something.
And then, the highest hand was 4 10's with an ace all up on the board and 3 of us split the pot...so according to "E" the lawyer would get it or some crazy rule like that...coulda been ugly, lucky we didnt do the high hand side bet.
I ended up getting 3rd in the tournament won 70 bucks for 3rd plus 5 for taking one guy out.
sure was nice to play with people that didnt take it too serious but were playing smart...would rather play with the family but this will do.
Go take a look at Sister the DR. blog
Now, 19 years and 2 days of marriage and as far as I know there is only one.
Im gonna ask my wife tonight, might do some extra heavy duty checking!
edit
A conversation with a friend about my sisters blog.
me: does your wife have two? im gonna go look tonight
buddy; if she does, she's sure awfully protective about that "second one"
me: im gonna go look "at my wifes" not yours sorry for the confusion
buddy: well hell, if you come to check my wife, hang out till monday for the TX holdem tourney
Buddy: and never realized the ear canal ran that far
me: yea hell yea it does, if you say something wrong in the ear you aint getting what is at the other end!
buddy: makes sense now the look of bliss when she's using a q-tip
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake."
Phone call
Me…………..”Hello”
Her……….."this is Jamie with county line ford and I would like to ask you three questions about your recent visit with us, is now a good time?"
Me……….”no but go ahead”
Her………”ok on a scale of 1 to 5 with 5 being the best would you recommend county line ford to family or friends” (I know, it’s worded wrong but that is exactly what she said)
Me….”a one”
Her………..”Can I ask why it’s not a 5?”
Me…….”Yes you can, and that was your second question what is your 3rd?”
Her……….”oh well I have to ask that question if you don’t rate one of the 3 as a 5”
Me….”you said you had three questions and asked if would answer them, I have answered 2 now what is your last question?”
Her………..”Uh um, did they fix your car the first time?”
Me…..”Yes, and you have a good night”
Her…….”uh well ok thanks”
Sometimes being nice and pleasant works also.
@#%$#%
So little brother broke the outside mirror on his car, me being the overly generous
Bigger brother that can fix anything tell him I can fix it for you.
He asks if I will pick him up a mirror and he will pay me back.
Sure no problem
Drive to ford house order mirror, pay upfront, drive back in few days get mirror, and deal with stupid parts guys’ blah
He shows up on a Tuesday evening (today) right after I get home from work to have me replace it.
Humm I have not eaten dinner or chilled out but whatever I am a democrat ill help.
He opens his wallet to pay me the 57 and some change for the mirror.
“you have 3 bucks” he asks.
Uhh no I don’t.
He grudgingly hands over the 60 with a look of “when the hell you gonna pay me my 3 bucks”
I sighn to him, you can let me keep the 3 bucks for driving to get the part…(and it was like 2.46 to be an ass about it)
He then says “I had to drive over here and I need the money for lunch” as he is shoveling down my dinner that my wife and son had made while I get working on his car…
After some choice signing on my part I installed his mirror and have decided that I am switching to Republicans so I don’t have to do crap for anyone but myself.
@$##@$%
Phone rings. Caller ID shows it as mbna (that a credit card co. cool fun times!)
Me...."What"
Them..."hello?"
Me....."What?"
Them..."Mr. X? this is stupid (I dont remember his name)calling with the Yankees and MBNA Bank.
Now at this point it should be noted that I hate the Yankees. And I hate sales calls, but not as much as I hate the Yankees. If the Yankees were playing an Iraq team, I would root for the Iraq team to do a Jihad on there pin-striped, child molesting, dog raping, pig humping, vomit breath, diaper wearing, snot slurping asses!
But stupid on the phone does not know that yet, he will find out.
Me…in loud voice “I hate the Yankees and anything to do with them!” Then i repeat the above to him.
Stupid…”well mr x that’s ok, we are calling to
Me…louder voice, interrupts “did you not hear me when I said I hate the Yankees and anything to do with them?”
Stupid…”uhh yes well this card has 2.5% interest for the
Me…yelling at this point.. “STUPID, YOU DON’T GET IT I HATE THE YANKEES AND ANYTHING TO DO WITH THEM!”
Stupid…”I understand, but
Me… “YOU DON’T GET IT, IF YOUR CARD WAS FREE AND CAME WITH NEGATIVE 2.5% INTEREST I WOULDN’T WANT THE SOB”
Stupid..”thanks for your time this is operator xxx blahh blahh blahh
As I hang up….
It should be noted that was on Wed. the 29th of Dec. and I have not heard back.
Also have not heard back from SBC either.
Hummm what will I do when they all stop calling? I guess I’ll just go to Wal-mart and be rude to the poor cashiers or something.
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