I believe in miracles

Terri something. Heart attack, no oxygen, vegetable.
Husband says she would not want to be sustained that way.
Parents say she can get better.

Before the neo Nazi GW love boys got involved, I thought, "Michael Schiavo, if she is not in pain and her parents believe in miracles let the medical community keep her alive, maybe just maybe we are wrong"

Well for whatever reason (I am not sure what) he fought that and the state court of Florida said, "sucks to be you but we believe the DR's and its time to let her pass on"

Ok. I might not agree but there was enough evidence for some high thinkers to say...sorry Mikey we know you believe in miracles but it just isn’t enough.
Let her die.

The parents, if they still believe in a miracle then in the next day or so she will tell them with her voice she is hungry. otherwise she is going to move on and so should we/us/them.

BUT

George "cocaine" Bush and his love neo Nazi religious right butt buddies have jumped in with both feet. The "FEDS" say that the states are too stupid to make a choice like that, we need the federal govt to say who should and should not die.
I think GW said it something like "The state of Florida cannot declare war on a sovereign nation and kill 100,000 people, only I can do that, ohhh hold on Rumsfield is touching me, now were was I? oh yea I am the only one that can say what is a Vegetable with no choice of recovery not a panel of expert Doctors who just think they know about the human body! oh not there donny, little higher ahhh"

What scares me the most is the fact they rushed thru a bill that was ill conceived, and will have long term implications with 60% or more of the USA citizens against it.
so they could come for you next. Next they could rush thru a bill saying all people who dont go to church on Sunday will be shot out of hand! they could hello! Ohhh wait then GW would be gone since MR. I am the religious rights president does not go to church but about 4 times a year! (I think he is to busy doing weird things with Rumsfield but that is only my opinion)

We do need checks and balances. We do need to look at as many sides as we can and then make the best decision we can as a society. It might be wrong but we did the best we could. In the case of Terri that was done about 3 years ago. Unfortunately people refuse to lose even if the cost of winning is so high that they will lose allot more down the road.

ok back to your bourbon and coke.

My sister did me proud!!!!

I just know you'll get a kick out of this story about my clever extemporaneous actions yesterday. . .

Peyton and I were at the car dealership waiting for them to fix some paint knicks on our new (used) car (!). We sat in a waiting room and Peyton was in his car seat on the floor. I suddenly hear a small fart around my seat. I look around . . . no one. I hear another louder fart. "Peyton, was that you???" I start laughing out loud because by now there have been about 4 farts that are getting louder and longer. He just giggled and giggled - so did I! Finally a salesman knocks on the glass wall of his cubicle and shows me a remote control. He had planted a fart maker under the chair in which I sat in the waiting room. We laughed, he came out and said I was the first to blame it on my son. ha ha.

A few minutes later a couple of business-looking men come and sit a few seats away. They wore nice suits, had really short hair, were quite uptight looking.

Soon, the fart noise rings again. The men look up at me. I coyly cover my mouth and say "Oh! excuse me!!" Then, the procession of multiple, increasingly loud farts began. .. Each time I looked up at the 2 men and said something like "Oh, did you hear that?!?" "Oh Gosh! I'm so sorry!". One time I looked at Peyton and said "Oh, those beans were just too much!"

Of course, being me, as this is going on I'm turning increasingly red in the face, which added to the real-ness of my character, I believe. And for some reason Peyton thought this was histerical and he just laughed and laughed. The 2 men were just dumbfounded. Their eyes kept getting big and they couldn't look me in the eye. They couldn't have dug their heads any further into their Forbes magazines if they had tried. Finally the receptionist stood up and said "OK!Enough! That salesman has a remote control fart machine under her chair!!"

The men were dead silent for a full 3 seconds before they busted up laughing (a bit of a relieved yet panicked laughter, I must say). The salesman with the remote was just so proud of me. The spotlight was mine and I felt the real power of the successful comedian. It's quite heady. I think I'll now pursue a spot on Saturday Night Live.

Thanks for listening and hopefully laughing. Elicia

The Band Director

I have never like band directors.
Durn Band Queers!

Going off on a tangent, I know Band Queers is not a politically correct term but I don’t give a damn.
The other day I got slammed about saying “oriental” when talking about my sister or brother.
See I have some bro’s and sisters from Korea, and I just said something like “My oriental sister is a lawyer” and one of the people in our party just about had a fit!
“You cant say oriental, that’s really derogatory!”
Now just a damn minute. Oriental is derogatory? How about lawyer?

So what the hell is the difference between Oriental and Asian? Isn’t the orient in the Asian pacific? So if you’re Korean and you hated the Chinese, but you’re called an Asian, wouldn’t that be derogatory also?
How about if your born in Korea, flown to America when your 6 months old, raised by white parents, in a catholic house in a redneck west Texas city, then you go off to law school and marry a white man and cant speak Korean and are shorter than a loaf of bread and like hockey would you really be insulted if your brother said “my sister is oriental” in a conversation?
Wouldn’t you be shocked that the sob even realized it?

They tried to explain it…” you have an oriental rug not oriental people!”

Ok smart one…”I have an Asian vase holding the ashes for my dead dog! “

So damn were was I?

Oh yea BAND QUEERS.

We called em that in JR High and High School.

Ahh hell I am tired of typing, I will tell the story of the snowball, the bald headed band director and the F bomb another time!

Us guys know whats important

Helping Her with Labor

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.

The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"

The room really got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes?" replied the teacher. "Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"

Funny

The Unusual Bait
Politically Incorrect

On a tour of Texas, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the
Coastal area for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the sea wall on
Galveston Isle in his Pope-mobile when suddenly he notices a frantic
commotion just off shore.

There was John Kerry struggling frantically to free himself from the
jaws of a 25-foot shark. As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat
came racing up with two men aboard. One of the men, President George W. Bush quickly fired a harpoon into the shark's side while Dick Cheney
reached out and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious John Kerry from the water.

Then using (autographed Round Rock Express) baseball bats, the two
heroes beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat.

Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you My blessings for your brave actions," he told them. "I heard that there was some bitter hatred between President Bush and John Kerry, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not true."

As the Pope drove off, President Bush asked Dick "Who was that?"

"It was the Pope," Dick replied. "He is in direct contact with God and
has all of God's wisdom."

"Well," President Bush said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he doesn't know squat about shark fishing...................how's the bait
holding up?"

I threw up on my computer

I was reading a news story about this guy getting sent to IRAQ in the navy...
and they interviewed his wife, she said

"We go to a really good church, and they talk in there a lot about the husband's and the wife's role, what the Bible says is the husband's and wife's role," she explains. "And my role is to support my husband. My mother told me when I got married, 'Your life is about him, and you need to be there for him.'"

Lawyers are to blame!

The NHL is about to cancel the hockey season.
I wont go into it right now on all the bs on the diffrences in the two side, the players and the owners.
but the bottom line is each side is represented by a lawyer...
and they wont compromise.
Go figure.
I say take the lawyers put em naked on the ice in front of the net and let fans shoot pucks at them until only one is left, then kick the last one in the nuts, and get 2 NORMAL people and let them decide the issue. (ok so my plan is not complete, but I like the lawyers getting hit with pucks, that sounds real fun)
Plus you could sell tickets or chances at shooting the pucks at lawyers and give the money to some tsunami relief group or some shit, hell I bet it would bring in thousands of bucks!
ohhh and just the lawyers involved in the nhl mess....well there are others that could be argued that deserve the same treatment but one small problem at a time please.

I just love sales calls

Me: Hello.

Him Yes, is this Mr x?

Me Hello?

Him Yes is this MR X?

Me Who is this?

Him this is (something said so fast I couldn’t understand)

Me who? I cant understand you.

Them This is Marcko Metcalf with (something again so fast I couldn’t understand)

Me Is this Eric Metcalf’s brother? The guy that played for UT and then I think the browns?

Him No I am calling from Nova Scotia with mbna with a special offer for a low interest credit card.

Me Nova Scotia? Now why would I want a credit card from Nova Scotia?

Him well

Me Hold on my other line is ringing I think it might be India!

It was for my daughter so never got back to him…

Man that is fun

An open note to one of my sister

You do not call your brothers family at 11pm at night on a school/work night unless its an emergency.
You know who you are but in case you dont your my baby sister.
I have to get up at 5:45 in the am to get going for work.
My wife has to get up at 5:30 so she can get going for work.
My son has to get up at 6:00 am to get going for school.
My daughter has to get up at 6:30 am to get going for school.

Next time you call after 9:59pm it better be a damn good reason!
And if its an emergency I will try and help but if it isnt, expect to be hung up on!

My wife is much nicer than I am, and she talked to you last night, if it had been me to answer the phone, as soon as I found out it was not an emergency I would have let you know in no uncertain terms THAT YOUR A FRICKEN RUDE PERSON TO CALL THAT LATE! And your lucky my wife wouldnt let me have the phone!

As a matter of fact I will tell you in person this Sunday when I see you!

To the rest of my family, dont call me and wake me up unless its an emergency. Think before you pick up the phone...."will my brother rip my head off for calling this late? will he get the 2x4 out and hit me? " If its an emergency I wont rip your head off.

Ohhh and my mom can call me anytime she wants, my mom has the "I can do no wrong" pass, and its not transferable to dad, its my mom's card only.

Little pitchers have ears

As parents one thing you always keep in the back of your mind is your kids are listening to every word you say.
Sometimes you slip up.

The other night, wife and I were talking in my office, we finish I go out to get a drink and my son is putting his sisters full bowl of soup at the sink. So I ask “Did she not want to eat?” he says “she just got up and went to her room without saying anything”.

So I go to check on her and she is on her bed and wont talk to me.
Time to get the woman out here…”honey can you go check on your daughter, she won’t talk to me”

Well she wouldn’t talk to her mom either…what in the world, “uhh son, what did she say before she got up, what was going on?”
“all she said dad was shhhhh listent, and then she just bolted”
“Was she trying to listen to me and mom”
“I guess so, sports center was on I wasn’t paying attention”

Ahhh haaa, so the wife goes back and in and explains to the daughter…

My wife and I were discussing this 4th grader that had brought a knife to school and was being expelled, and arguing over the zero tolerance and expulsion and alternative schools and such, and the daughter just heard bits and pieces and thought we were talking of putting her in alternative school.

Glad we weren’t talking about something really bad!